The Top 10 Jams of 2006

10. E40, Juelz Santana, Bun B, Pimp C--"White Gurl"
When I first heard this I slept on it. It just seemed so obvious: 40, juelz, and the texas boys dropping coke rap. But this isn't any coke song. It hit me when I was kickin it with white girl at the club. The DJ dropped it, I felt that boom bass kick, I started giggin out, the lights got brighter, everything made perfect fucking sense. And Pimp and Bun give good advice on how to successfully flip shit.

9. Beyonce--"Irreplaceable"

8. Rick Ross--"Hustlin"

7. E40 & Keak da Sneak--"Tell Me When To Go"

6. Ciara--"Promise" (remix)

5. T.I.--"What You Know"

4. Lil Wayne--"Spitter"
See listen here this is why Weezy is the best out there right now. In the first verse he starts out:

Whatcha man done toldya bout fuckin round wit them soldiers/
Toldya I'll be back I'm comin, I got that Tommy Lasorda/
That's blood all over your sofas, blood all over your posters, blood all over your shoulders, blood all over the strollers...

And then to begin the second verse, with the exact same cadence, he flips it to:

Whatcha baby toldya bout fuckin round wit them soldiers/
I toldya I'm comin back I got that Tommy Mattola/
That's blood all over ya Rover, blood all over ya chaffuer, blood all over ya loafers, if I get any closer, there's blood all over my toaster, blood all over my holster, I'm in them S.Dots, that's blood over my Hovas...

That's rap music, plain and simple. If you hear that and think, well, he's just basically repeating himself, then don't worry about it. Just go back to Doggystyle and the two Biggie songs you know and live happily. But don't ever ever ever say you love hip hop music.

3. Ho'okoa--"Last Night"
This is the way it works in Hawaii: Every year there's always a local jam that will epitomize a certain time, such as the end of senior year, and if your high school is worth its salt, you'll actually get that band to play that jam while you mack your senior year cutie under the stars.

This is that jam. The kid I know, his name's Kaika, was at a barbecue I went to the day after his grad party (it's also not weird for 23 year olds to kick it with 17 year olds at barbecues so fuck you). I'm always busting his chops because he shows me school pictures of the girls he's trying to get with and I'm like, cmon man, are you even getting head yet? Anyway, I asked him who performed at his grad night and he said "Ho'okoa."

Me: "They have that jam on the radio right now, right? The one that goes, 'Laaaaast night, laaassst night.' They musta killed that live, huh?"

Him: "Ho brah, you don't even wanna know...I never heard girls scream like dat.(gap toothed grin)"

Me: Please tell me you fucked.

Him: (continues gap toothed grin)

2. Young Jeezy--"Bury Me a G"

1. Nelly Furtado & Lil Wayne--"Maneater" (remix)
"my shorty know what she doin, lick her lips then get straight to it..."

There was no "Stay Fly" which stood head and shoulders above anything else. "What You Know" came close at the start of the year but in the end it just sounded empty, despite DJ Toomp's amazingly cinematic production. Bury Me a G comes pretty close and I'm definitely jamming it nonstop but I can't get over the fact that this is a 2Pac song with Jeezy's voice in it. So 2006 was the year of Wayne and it seems like 2007 will be the year of high profile beefs and the young guns taking the torch from Nas and Jay.

The Bay fucking shot itself in the foot, which is the disappointment of 06 but I can't say I'm surprised.